Fear and Futility

Sometimes I find myself up against a challenge that gets me truly vexed. Getting my PC to work properly after reformatting has been a wild ride. It has been three decades since I arrived on this Earth, two thirds of those I’ve spent having a computer of some fashion. For twenty years there has not been a single time that reinstalling windows on a fresh HDD has lead to problems. Fast forward to today and Windows 10 just cannot handle it. And worse still I’ve gotten advice from Microsofts own website that is so damaging you have to reboot in safe mode just to recover. Namely, do not, ever, turn off all services and then reboot. And yet they tell you that is something you should try when having problems like I am.

Fair enough, if I literally cannot ever login I won’t have any problems installing things in the future. At any rate, I’ve since reinstalled for a third time. I’ve gone through the registry and tried to clean up ownership problems left behind by Windows’ fairly awful migration system. And I’ve gotten every update to bring me to what should be the most up to date version of Windows 10 possible. I check every service, every option, and everything points to this being as good as it gets.

So here I sit. Scared to try to use the installer that has been freezing my PC. An installer that I very much definitely need to do what I want to do for the rest of this year. Microsoft installers cannot be used in safe mode, so I’m left needing to use it in Windows proper. I don’t know what is going to conflict with it, or if anything actually will. I don’t really want to go down that road. I don’t want to feel that anger again. But I must. I’m going to finish this post, hit publish, and I’m going to start that install. It will either work, or it will not, regardless I will stand up and walk away from my PC. Today was not a bad day. I’ve gotten some nice new shoes that are fairly comfortable.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish today had been better. It would have been a nice surprise.

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